I was cleaning old files off of my laptop a few months back when I ran across an old journal entry. I posted it on my Facebook page, and the positive comments, text messages, and conversations I got from it was overwhelming. This post ultimately lead me to put this website together and start writing again.
The entry was originally written eight years ago on my birthday-gift-laptop, as I sat outside, waiting for the sun to come up over the Chesapeake Bay. Being able to view these words with eight more years of life and change in my rearview mirror, the truth behind them is even more palpable today:
“There’s something about the way the sky changes – almost imperceptibly at first, but there are moments (like right now, for instance) when you look back up, and there’s a little more definition to the water. You can see the wake of a passing something (duck, maybe?), but it’s still too early to tell what is passing. Kind of like how I’m realizing life works. Change comes all too slowly for my taste, truth be told, but sometimes when you look up from whatever it is that you were focusing on, you can see subtle shifts in shading, or a little bit more definition on something that had seemed hazy and out of focus for so many years. Slowly, ever so slowly, change comes. There are times when you wonder if you’ll ever get the journey right, but you start to notice that, indeed, you’re looking at things differently than you used to. And then, a while later, you’ll notice that you’re looking more differently still. Progress is there, just not quite as fast as you’d like it. But it is there, nonetheless.
“Make peace with the reaching, because clarity comes. Though it tarries, wait for it. It will surely come, and is surely coming. You are not the person you used to be. Praise God for that. And further down the road, you will not be the person you are this morning. Praise God for that, too.
“You are not the stepchild in the family of God that you were convinced of for so long. You are a child of God. Praise God for that. You matter to him. Clarity is coming. Though it tarries, wait for it. It is coming as surely as the dawn.
“My God, the change is beautiful…”